just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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