thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
