i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
