he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
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