Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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