I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
