omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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