i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
