You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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