So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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