Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
