I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
