The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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