I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
