I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Terrible idea I love it
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
