I wannas sexs uuuuu
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
