So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize