I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
