to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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