I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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