Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
