I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
my poor anus
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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