Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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