what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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