Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.

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(707): View more from California

I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.

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(913): View more from Kansas

come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?

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(916): View more from California

Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties

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(214): View more from Texas

MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.

(214): View more from Texas

SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.

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(971): View more from Oregon

Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.

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(+61): View more from Australia

He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.

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(208): View more from Idaho

only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up

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