i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
