I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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