Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
