sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
