Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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