Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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