I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
