I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
