I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
