we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize