Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
