She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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