you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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