she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
