who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
