we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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