thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
