my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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