nut hugger
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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