i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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