Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think my moral compass just broke
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
