so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
