it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
