i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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