I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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