Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
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