i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
