I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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