Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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