he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
