Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
