Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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