I heard we made out
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
