I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
