so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize