I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
