I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize