Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you will always have a special place in my vag
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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