4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
